differentials

it was that familiar sinking feeling
of longing…
quite sure it’s not anginal
it’s that numbing inner threat
of something tipping the balance

ah…
it’s just you
gone in my life.
it’s just a weirdly palpable void
sucking that
gust of breath in my lungs
rushing harshly against my inner peace

I hate the sinking feeling
Ill-defined inner scathing

Again, I count endless days
until the calm rests on me
until the void is filled by another
yes
that all too familiar
calm of solitary soul
a self-borne emptiness
so contained, so meaningless
that knows no edges
that heeds no imbalance.

the story of my life.
ugh.