differentials

it pains me every time I lay still
   and listen to my thoughts
I run from the silence
   it echoes my thoughts
I  turn to the music
   to drown my own hymn
but my soul’s drumming
   battles with the radio’s rhythm
it was a struggle
   going on and on… and on
nauseating, drowning.

it stabs me
   every step I take
I try to run
  but the stabs… the stabs are aching.
and my feet,
my  feet are weary and refusing…
I have to run
  and if  I couldn’t, I have to scream 
But I couldn’t mount a voice
  No voice to disperse the stabbing threat
All I could, is quietly cry
  Let me out, let me out
Pleading, bleeding.

and I ask everyday
   why do you shut me out
and I wait everyday
   in relentless pain
knowing there will be no answer.
silencing, deafening.

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